Get Rid of a Grudge

 Why do they deserve to be forgiven?

What have they done to show me that they deserve a second chance?

Why should I change when they aren't willing to do the same?

Sound familiar? It sure does for me. It is a common occurrence for people to hold grudges, my guess would be that hardly anyone goes throughout life grudge free. So how can we battle these Grudges? What can we tell ourselves to help get past the moments, days, weeks or years of holding onto said grudge? I have compiled a short list of Do's and a few Dont's for you all.

1. Read Matthew 18:1-22 -Just a suggestion. Especially if you are a religious person.
2. Make Reconciliation- Confront the conflicting party with whom you hold a grudge. Take time to plan this out, you don't want to perpetuate the problem by causing a fight. If you are afraid that the discussion might turn into a fight make sure to meet publicly (after all who wants to make a scene). Discuss with the person your feelings about the way you have been treated. Let them know that you want to start anew, giving both parties equal opportunity for change. 
3. Move past- Decide that you are going to move past their faults, you are 100% going to forgive them. 
4. Forgive For You -  Forgiving someone of the wrong doings isn't just for them. Its most certainly for you. Even if they don't deserve your forgiveness, you yourself deserve to forgive them for you. It is not healthy harbouring bad feelings for others, especially family members or loved ones. It causes stress, family functions aren't as much fun, you find yourself constantly irritated, constantly frustrated, constantly mad.
5. Do Not Forget- We are all human, even tho you and the offending party may have  reconciled, don't forget that they may just mess up. Like Jesus said, we must forgive our brethren seventy times seven. (hard concept I know) Give them another chance, just remind them that you are doing your best to get past what happened in the past and you need their help.  
6. Do Not Get Discouraged- It takes 22 days/trys to make something a habit. The only way to get rid of a habit is by replacing it with a new one. So replace that grudge holding habit with something new.
7. Meditate- When you feel frustration coming on, take a few moments to breathe, and think through the situation, calm yourself down and then confront the situation.
8. Add Some Fun- Make sure to make an effort to change on your part. Forgiveness is not only about letting grudges go, its about changing the way things are, its not enough just to forgive, we must cultivate and strenghten our wounded relationships. So make sure to invite that person out to lunch, or over for dinner, or out to the movies, or simply over for a chat. Add some fun back into the relationship.

Sometimes relationships that have been injured for many years are sometimes, as sad as it is, unfixable. But even tho this may be true, still make time to forgive them. Its only hurting you. Lately I have made a concerted effort to rid myself of grudges, I have let things go and I am working hard to repair those relationships that have been injured in my life. 

We all want to be spiritually, mentally and emotionally healthy. Letting grudges go is a sure fire way to start our journey.

So, fellow readers, what do ya say? Wanna get rid of a grudge with me?